Have you ever wondered why some people are confident while others struggle with confidence? Do you envy those people that seem completely comfortable in their skin, able to radiate positivity and charisma?
I was mentoring a business owner who said that they lacked confidence and attributed their feelings to a recent business failure. I questioned them further about their experience and I thought ‘confidence is simply what we choose to believe and accept.’
You are challenged all the time and sometimes it works in your favour and sometimes not, why is it that for some people it can be crushing and others the experience is not? I know I have learnt more from my failures than my successes. However, you have to choose to look for the lessons in the failures otherwise your mind will choose to stay with the failure.
What is Confidence?
Confidence is ‘owning’ who you are, warts and all. In my book Business Evolution I talk about your Personal Business Personality, learning the lessons from your challenges and I show you how to find your uniqueness and your core strength; which gives you the resilience needed in business. What builds your self-confidence is: your experience and your belief that you can recover from anything. I know that this is not always easy, but I also know from personal experience that it is possible.
You can gain confidence with belief and experience. Before I learnt to ride a bike I was unconfident but I believed it was possible because I saw other people riding bike’s I stumbled but learnt the technique, and with more experience of riding in challenging situations I gain confidence in my ability to ride a bike.
Confidence in business is critical. If you are not confident about what you do, how do you expect other people to like and trust you enough to buy you?
You believe you can do everything as a baby and become frustrated when you have the belief but not the experience or ability. As you develop and grow other people tell you that you cannot do things and then you learn to tell yourselves that you cannot do things. Your experience is that you have done things but your mind chooses to believe that you cannot. Buddha said “The mind is everything. What you think you become.”
You can lose confidence when other people doubt you or in fact when you doubt yourself and then choose to believe it as true. You may lose confidence in riding a bike, but you still have the skill and previous experience of riding a bike. You can choose to tap into your skills and experiences and choose to practice them with confidence.
The only thoughts you can control are your own, you choose to find evidence of positive beliefs and you choose to practice positive behaviours and gain positive experience. What other people choose to do it not your concern, because you can choose to accept or reject.
- Do not allow the perception of others to cloud your own.
- You choose how to think and what to believe.
- Confidence does not leave you, you leave it.
- If you know how to gain confidence you can never lose it.
You must learn to love your personality, your view of the world, your way of thinking and feelings; until you do you may lack confidence and feel stressed trying to “fit in” with the rest of the world, rather than confident to follow your own path. It is easy to feel confident in something only you know and understand; it is comforting to know you are treading your own path; it is confidence build knowing your own mind.
Do not make the lack of confidence your story, whether in life or business, try out your personality after all it is uniquely yours! Learn to know and love your Personal Business Personality, other will too.
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